I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
