Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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