You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
