it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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