you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
