i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize