Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
