Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
pray to the hookup gods
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
