What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
the liver wants what the liver wants
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
