I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
