We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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