She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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