and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
