very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
