Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She bit a glass in half.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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