Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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