Whod you bang
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize