so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
how drunk are you?
Several
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize