You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
