what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
