Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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