I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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