margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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