Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
