Slut skills are useful in every country.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
