hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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