I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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