her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
