Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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