His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
