It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
