I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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