explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He has the fingertips of a God
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