I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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