Pappa wants mamma naked
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
