what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
