nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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