i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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