You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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