thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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