She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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