I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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