His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
