Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize