I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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