My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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