How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
