she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My ass is underappreciated
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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