i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
