The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
