Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
