You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
