i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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