i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
