He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
