How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
