chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
