The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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