When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize