His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Alive.
So much puke
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
