The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
How does it feel to date your dad?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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