The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
