very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize